Zombie Indians vs Vampire Cowboys
In the town of Lurch Gully, the children used to play in the streets, dogs used to run after squirrels all day long, and people would smile at one another.
That was before the arrival of the Count of East Pennsylvania, and his gang of roughnecks. They were a strange bunch, out for blood, drinking and fighting late into the night until just before the break of dawn. They established their stronghold on the outskirts of town, towards the east, always towards the east. There, it was rumored that they kept a large number of prisoners, whose purpose remained a mystery.
Lurch Gully is located on an Indian graveyard, full of warriors who died fighting the White Man, braves who brought fear to their enemies and hope to their people. The White Man fights sneakily, establishing towns in areas of strategic importance, doing everything to humiliate their enemies. They take land and lives, but they cannot kill the dead.
Little Jeremiah Walton, aged 7, was the first to see what was happening. You see, his house was located over the plot of a particularly violent warrior, and his sandbox happened to be located only 5 feet above the torso of the dead fighter. Excitedly making a sand structure of some kind, Jeremiah barely noticed the hand reaching out of the ground, grasping and clawing at the air, slowly rising as if by some trick of hydraulics. Finally, when the hand began to use little Jeremiah Walton as a brace, grabbing him with a crushing Kung Fu grip around his little stubby leg, he screamed and finally noticed the undead Indian warrior fighting it’s way out of the ground. Kicking and screaming, Jeremiah broke free and ran to his mommy, who told him to clean himself up before eating the meal she had spent the last 4 hours cooking. “That’s just the gardener, mister Winters,” she said.
The screams of the townspeople bothered the cowboys, but they did not come. Until the night. They descended on the town, a black cloud, bats, shrieking menacingly. They attacked the zombies, ripping and biting, but to no avail, these zombies did not have the living blood so craved by vampires. And so there was a vicious battle between the zombie Indians and vampire cowboys, in which neither side was a victor. After several long hours of fighting, there were still almost 20 beings brutalizing one another.
The only reason that Lurch Gully still exists is because in their hurry to attack the new flesh, the vampire cowboys did not check to see if the gate was locked. An old man, looked over by the vampires and disregarded because of his useless ancient blood, walked through the gate and freed the prisoners being kept as bottles of blood for the cowboys. Having downed an impressive amount of whisky, the 20 or so people armed themselves from the cowboys’ stash and went on the offensive.
The zombies didn’t stand a chance, and whatever cowboys remained didn’t make it through the sunrise.
Lurch Gully lives on, a sober reminder that you should never, under any circumstances, build houses in a graveyard.
